We all know that in this day and age, being a minority (specifically gay) comes with a plethora of problems at work. But there is a bright side! If you are are the only queen at work (just like me) you will find yourself in various situations both humorous and annoying. Despite the stereotypes, judgmental thoughts, men acting oddly, and Sally from HR asking you which eyeshadow works best, these are just a few scenarios any gay man can relate to! Explore the pros and cons of being gay at the workplace down below.
4 – A Peaceful Bathroom
I am 100% speaking on experience when I say that being gay is a blessing when it comes to a bathroom break. Dropping a deuce requires privacy. Aside from my queen bed, the toilet is my throne! This sanctuary stems from the fact that straight men sometimes feel uneasy using the bathroom when a gay guy is around and may even hesitate to enter our den of peace, Poo-Pourri, and serenity. Let it rip, gents!
3 – No Heavy-Lifting Required
Your job’s qualifications might read “heavy-lifting required,” but not for this gay man. More often than not, gay men are viewed as fragile or weak, but we are cunning enough to use this to our advantage. Let Will lift all the boxes from the latest designed T-shirt shipment–he’s straight and strong! The only bending over you will be doing is the bend-and-snap in front of the new guy! 😉
2 – Decorating Everything
Because gay men are, allegedly, born with a natural sense of design and fashion, practically everyone will ask you to do anything decor-related. What’s that, boss? Decorate the office for Halloween on company time? Don’t forget the purple silly string. Now’s the time to tell Mary you hated her costume from last year, too.
1 – Gossip King
We all know the saying “I heard it through the grapevine,” well, honey, you are the grapevine! People flood to you like a drop off point for the latest gossip. You couldn’t care less, and girls will still pile to your corner with insight on something. Keep the rumor mill running by simply taking it all in and listening because it’s better to be the wheel than the water running through it.
5 – The Curious Co-Worker
Let’s face it, you are in (mostly) straight mens’ territory now, and you will have some pretty curious men asking you a buttload (teehee) of questions! Don’t think some will hold back either–I have had to literally describe my prep process and what it tastes like to male co-workers. While I’m open to discussing it, I wasn’t that open when one of them drunkenly mentioned it at the company party. Now everyone will know how much you love the D!
4 – The Left-Field Sex Jokes
If you thought only women had it bad in the workplace, think again! Gay men are on this weird line of being treated as a woman yet a man all at once, and it can get frustrating. For instance, you can be making coffee and your co-worker might say, “Don’t forget to put creme in it–of course, he loves creme!” Because you’re a dude, the annoyance by sex jokes can go unnoticed by them. You giggle nonchalantly, but in your mind, you’re already prepared to creme in his coffee. Revenge is sweet.
3 – Becoming the Ambassador of Homosexuality
Probably an all-time favorite for extroverted homosexuals such as myself is becoming the icon and speaker of all things gay, but it comes with a heavy price. Anything you do, say, or think is automatically ruled gay among the ignorant heteros. Good luck explaining what a top and bottom are during lunch break. But don’t miss out on this opportunity to break down some stereotypical thinking and express that not all gay men are the same! It is a chance to change minds after all.
2 – Unnecessary Labeling
No, I’m not talking about being a neat freak and organizing everything with a label maker. For some reason, a few men think it is OK to refer to you as their “Gay co-worker / Gay friend.” They might even go as far as calling you the forbidden F word. The worst thing is them calling something “so gay” then justifying it because you are their gay friend (technically now their lame friend). Think people!
1 – Using Your Gaydar
As if you become a gay-detecting superhero overnight, straight people will often ask you who is and isn’t gay when they get the slightest inkling. Personally, my Gaydar is trash. I can’t even tell who is gay at the sauna even if they keep staring at me. Be prepared to become a homing device as you point out your fellow peers. If you enjoy it, go for it, but if you need a little rewiring in your system, stop. You could be starting a potentially false rumor quickly.
Has there ever been a time that being a minority benefited you at the workplace or has it led to some catastrophic moments (like the company party experience…)? Let us know and prove that the grass is greener on our side if you can~
Also, check out my other guest feature on the Sims!